Curly just finished up her second year of pre-k. One more year and she will be off to kindergarten. Obviously, I know it will not be the kindergarten class I once envisioned for her but nonetheless a big girl, kindergarten class. On the last day of pre-k, I looked around at Curly's home away from home, and saw how much all of the kids have grown. They are all more independent, more well behaved, and a whole lot happier in their own skins. I am amazed how much smarter they all were after this one year of school. Abigail's fantastic teacher gave us a disc with pictures on it of the kids throughout the year. I saw a curly headed little girl who was still very much a baby turn into a young girl who really came into her own in a short nine month period.
Abigail came into this school year in a bad way. She had developed a biting issue over the summer and also developed quite difficult mood swings. She would meltdown all day, every day. She was and is nonverbal and did not know how to tell us what was bothering her. Imagine what it would be like if you were upset and needed help, but had no way of telling anyone what was wrong? She was just so frustrated. It was heartbreaking to see my baby withdraw further from us and to see her become someone that we did not even know.
A typical day in our house started with a happy, smiling curly. At any moment, she would start to scream, throw things, pinch herself, pull her hair, throw herself on the floor or bed and cry and scream until she could not catch her breath and at times, throw up. This happened, some days, five to eight times a day. Sometimes, we might only have one or two meltdowns. Her meltdowns could last anywhere from 10 minutes to four hours. The meltdowns controlled our lives. It controlled every aspect of our home life. We, as parents, were exhausted, confused, and heartbroken for Curly and our other children.
With the help of therapists, teachers, psychologists, and finally developmental pediatricians, we found some answers. We were told that we were not alone. A lot of children with more severe autism, have these mood swings. The professionals guided us to get her the help she needed. Controversial or not, we chose medicine to help with the mood swings. If you don't believe in children taking medicine, all I can say is this. You were not in my home. You did not see how this was affecting every member of my family. You can not judge our decisions until you are placed in this situation.
Much to our delight, Abigail responded well to medication. She had no side effects and her moods stabilized. The meltdowns went from an everyday thing to a couple times a week thing. Now the mood swings are a couple times a month. Our other children are not scared of Abigail any more. Abigail has improved at school. She is happier and back to the smiling little girl that we have always loved.
Towards the end of the school year, she started to have more focus with her task work and she participated in circle time more. She returned to the happy toddler we thought had left us back in the fall. She had enough focus to improve her joint attention and became a lot more social with my husband and I and her sisters. We feel like we have Abigail back. She looks at us, smiles at us. She comes to us when she needs something. She will play alongside her sisters. She kisses and hugs us. She lets us get close to her and become a part of her world.
We are delighted with her progress. She still has good days and bad days. I believe she probably always will. The good days so outnumber the bad ones these days. Our girl is happy and healthy (for the most part), and that is all I could ever really hope for.
The next school year will be here before we know it. This next year will be about her next transition. She will be ready to go on and by then hopefully, her daddy and I will be too.
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