My daughter has two beautiful, smart sisters. They are young and wiser than I ever imagined. Audrey is now 2 1/2 years old and picks up on everything. Allie is 16 months old and is my loving child. Thankfully, they are both "typically developing" which is a fancy term for normal. But who decides what is normal, anyway? I used to think they were both too young to understand why Abigail acted the way she does and most certainly too young to know what autism is. Boy was I wrong.
Last summer, when Audrey was just two, she stunned me. She would take a bath with Abigail and try to wash Abigail's face. She would try to wash Abigail's hair. She would grab diapers for Abigail when she was wet or dirty. She would try to feed Abigail at the table. One day, I asked Audrey, "Why are you helping Abigail?" She said, " I help Bail (what she calls Abigail). "Bail can't." She then looked at Abigail with such love and empathy.
Audrey made me so proud that day for loving her sister and recognizing that she needs extra help. She also broke my heart that day. I do not want Audrey or Allie to feel like they have to protect Abigail or do things for her. I want them to have a normal childhood. But can they really when their older sister has autism?
It is my hope that Audrey and Allie love their sister unconditionally and understand that deep inside that little girl's mind and body, she loves them too. If they grow up with this love for Abigail and a respect for Abigail, I have done my job.
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